Train Dream

It was a Friday evening in the summer, several of us were sitting on the porch, drinking beer, smoking, watching the nighthawks diving for insects; telling tales. David, my friend from grad school, was there, Tom, myself and Tom’s brother Jim. Jim was visiting from Idaho, and it was Jim’s first visit east in some years.
David had mentioned an awful recurring dream that many grad students have; You are writing an exam and the answers that you write disappear as soon as you finish writing them. Among agreeing laughs, we all admitted to having had that dream or one like it at one time or the other. David and I as anthropologists, Tom in biology, and Jim in law school. This started the flow of conversation for the evening as we pulled out our catalog of recurring dreams.
Mine was actually a second-hand memory from my father. At age nine my father had gifted me with the story of how he had survived the sinking of a tanker; one of the few times he ever spoke to me regarding his wartime experiences in the Merchant Marine. The tale was so vivid that it left an indelible imprint on my memory that sometimes played back like a dream. That evening I shared that with my friends. David shared another dream, and then Tom spoke up:
” I remember when I was a little kid having a dream in which a freight train was coming down the tracks, coming right for me, and I couldn’t get away. The train just kept on coming. The train had a gigantic headlight, and it kept on getting bigger and bigger. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get away from it. Eventually, I’d wake up in a sweat, and couldn’t get back to sleep. I still have that dream sometimes. My analyst used to say that it was about my anxieties over my life being out of control.”
We all made comments about this being one hell of a scary dream that we’d prefer not to have. Through all this, Jim had remained silent. Then we heard a quiet:
“Tom? I’m sorry. That wasn’t a dream. When I was just a little kid, I always wondered where your eyes go when you go to sleep. So, I used to sneak into your room with Dad’s big flashlight after you were asleep. I’d hold your eyes open and shine the light on them. If you moved around too much, I’d sit on you. After a while, I lost interest in doing it, but I never dreamed that you were aware of what I was doing. I’m really sorry.”
The silence on that porch was deep and undisturbed for a long while. Finally, out of the dark, we heard Tom exclaim: “you son of a…..”

One Reply to “Train Dream”

  1. Wow! I’m glad I got a little laugh at the end of this. It was all very moving. I for the most part no longer remember dreams but this post triggered a memory that I had to write down before I could even comment here. Triggers are interesting too. Thanks for sharing this.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.