Catalog Shoot

Sartorial elegance has never been my thing. Frankly, it doesn’t go too well with cans of varnish, paints, and wood chips. 

If I put in an appearance at a friend’s boat shop dressed in the work threads from a fancy catalog, the sort that sells five hundred dollar work jackets, I’d be put to applying bottom paint. 

No, dapper at most working shops is worn jeans, a long-sleeve T-shirt, and a ratty sweater.

And some catalogs do sell very high-priced work togs. I get them at the house every couple of weeks. So someone thinks that a perception change in my appearance might help sales.

This morning I spent a bit of time looking at one of those catalogs; I was amazed to see that I was familiar with one of the shops where they shot part of the photospread. 

It looked almost as ratty as it did the last time I visited. Almost. 

They had moved a workbench or two out of the way. And some of the smears of paint looked like they had gotten Photoshopped. In catalog journalism terms, it was an advance in truth in advertising. They had selected shops that looked like people did work in them.

In a moment of reflection, I fantasized about having my shop selected. First, they moved half the junk out, and then they steam cleaned it. Now it looked less like a cavern and more like a shop.Then they decided that I wouldn’t do and dragged me outside. They Substituted a model dressed in fancy togs for me and shot the photos while I enjoyed coffee in the Craft Services tent. Afterward, I was given a nice severance check while my body double tried to figure out what a V-tool was.

I think I’ll drive down to the coast and bother my buddy for a while.

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