Lists are so 2010s. A bucket list, a list of your favorite movies, favorite actors, or favorite actresses. Can’t think of a tenth? Well, guilt trip on it a bit; don’t collect two hundred dollars and go to jail in the game of collecting weird data points.
Of course, we all have movies we love, but it’s much more like someone will start off talking about a movie, and we’ll chime in on how much I like it. For most of us it’s compulsive.
But you joined the Significant Lists Society. Your lists of favorite things started off as means of remembering your favorites and enhancing your experience with them; innocent enough. But then oversharing crept in. They became rated for snob factor. You’ll be sneered at because an Adam Sandler movie was on your list. After a while, you “curated” your list for public consumption while keeping a “guilty pleasures” list for Saturday night binge viewing. Eventually, this infected your book list, and you trolled the New Times Booklist for impressive titles.
Look, This has to stop. You photoshop your social media posts, cheat on your Instagram, and no longer know what you actually like. I’ve contacted three of your best friends, and they will do an intervention tonight.
Please do not yield to the temptation of making a list of the ten things you most want to achieve during an intervention.