You have no idea what it was like growing up in New York City, being a 130-pound skinny kid with a big mouth. Just try to talk the talk, and walk the walk, and have the bigger guys laugh. Right! What do you do? Whatever it is don’t sink into resignation! Turn bizarre! Much can be done with little.
I had a favorite tactic for verbal confrontations. Spanish. Wait, you say, you’ve always maintained that you don’t speak it. Right? Shockingly enough, you are correct. But that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t utilize the bits and pieces I was familiar with to mastermind situations that were in my favor. Where size won’t take you, talk can.
Here’s an example. Wade was a bully, but very sensitive. Any attempt to physically confront him was doomed. Unless I used verbal Judo to first unbalance him. We were frequently at each other’s throats, and confrontations were not uncommon. But unlike some others in our group, I frequently got the better of Wade. You ask for my secret? Fighting words.
Wade was a sucker for name calling. But it had to be really insulting. One night, I got him steaming by calling him “Una alcachofa.” To do this right, you have to sound right, look right, and gesture suggestively. There I was sneering, leering, and gesturing obscenely. And of course, referring to him in Spanish as an artichoke. He rushed right into my benign and righteous right fist.
Alcachofa is a good one. It has such a suggestive sound to it when you carefully pronounce each syllable slowly and with a foul innuendo – Al-co-cho-fa. Purse your lips as you say it, sneer and laugh a bit as you look at the person. If they are a bit inflammatory, you have one mad jerk wad lunging towards you.
Be ready!
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Habia una vez, mi vicino, Chayo, decided to teach me Spanish. We’d had a few shots of tequila (it was Labor Day) “Marta, escuchame. Esto? Esta es una chinga. Esto es un chingado. Esto es un chingadero.” But “alcochofa”? That’s brilliant.
Sometimes its the most innocent of things that do it. I was reminded of this today as I was about to put a can of Goya avocado hearts away.
I tried using French once to get out if a fist fight. I said, “Tu est un grand poop.” He beat the crap out of me!
I had some Judo training, but otherwise it would have been – “feet don’t fail me now!”
😂
😂👍
Love it! Words the one size fits all weapon of choice 😉
And the most dangerous.
And a fight ensued? Who won, Louis?!
That time me, but his friends got me right after that. After that when I saw that bunch it was “Feet don’t fail me now!’
;>)
I’m imagining your life as the original Karate Kid film.
not quite. I ran away a lot too.