In 1981, after several years of gradual therapeutic progress and plain, ordinary
“growing up,” I quit smoking. It was a gradual process, but one that had a major effect on how I lived. Quitting was a promise I had made to myself, but which was very hard to deliver on.
The immeadiate effects? I no longer got up and rushed to find a pack of whatever “low tar” smokes I was using to convince myself that I was reducing the impact on my health. I enjoyed food more, and smelled everything.
I had grown up watching many of the adults in my family almost smoke on a schedule: get up, smoke. Do any activity, smoke. Eat a meal, then afterward smoke. It was just a normal part of life. The sole member of my close and extended family who did not smoke was my mother. She continually railed against the habit.
I wish that I could credit her with my stopping. But in fact her complaining against it was more of an annoying buzzing in the ear than a productive message.
What finally made the difference for me was my connection to healthcare—the years in the operating room, on patient care floors, and associates and friends talking about the effects of smoking on the body. And of course the patients whose lives were affected by smoking.
At last, in the spring of 1981, all of that came together, and I quit. It was around my ninth attempt. What are some of the things I found out? Quitting the cigarettes was just one of a cluster of behavioral changes I had to make. My routines of life had to change.
Some friendships fell by the wayside. To successfully quit, I couldn’t continuously associate with people threatened by my quitting, and I had to avoid friends who blew smoke in my face, offered me smokes, or tried to talk me into smoking again. This really happened.
Eating and drinking habits changed. I stopped going to the smoke-infested parties of many friends. Smoking was not just an individual habit, but a habit of many of those in my social circle. To maintain a tobacco-free status, that had to change.
About eight years after this, I abruptly quit drinking. Some of the changes in habits and social interactions mirrored those that I went through in quitting smoking. It was not just an individual habit; it was a social habit.
I would suggest to anyone contemplating quitting to consider not only the physical acts of quitting with its physical difficulties and ramifications, but also whether there are social complications and implications. Are there people in your life to whom your quitting is threatening, against the normal group behavior, or intimidating? Those things will complicate your quitting as much as the physical effects of breaking your dependence.
Discover more from Louis N. Carreras, Woodcarver
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Great post. I quit myself years ago and I feel great for that decision.
Well done for giving up! I have never smoked so I don’t know what it’s like to give up, but I’ve given up drinking – not permanently, but just until my hormones settle down. I often think at special occasions, “Maybe I’ll just have one today” and then I can’t be bothered.
Not easy to quit smoking. I never smoked — well, three cigarettes in my life. Since my mom was a heavy smoker, I was probably hooked in utero and maybe it explained my very low birth weight and the breathing problems I have now. No idea. My first cigarette was some Borkum Riff pipe tobacco rolled in a paper. I’d only smoked joints up till then. I inhaled and really felt, though, “Where have you been all my life? Wow!” But I didn’t want to go there. The other two? Well, they are good stories, too…
It is true. Best to never start.
I wrote a good story about my three cigarettes. I don’t know if it exists anywhere…
Thoughtful post and congrats on quitting–not an easy thing (understatement). Interestingly, and not surprisingly, other addictive behaviors have the same social component. Trying to stop drinking, and that often impacts social situations, drug addicts often have to lose the majority of their group because it all revolves around drugs, people who are trying to lose weight often have people saying things like, “Oh, what can one piece of cake hurt?” Etc. Even today, when the addiction is social media and everyone you know and interact with is encouraging the participation, how hard is it to just walk away from the TikTok? Simple answers like “just have more willpower” are rarely the whole answer–as your post discusses.
I was addicted to Diet Coke. 2 litres a day. Then when I was pregnant with my first child, I couldn’t stand the taste of it. I started again between first and second child and the same thing happened with my second pregnancy. I won’t let it pass my lips again. I have the same problem with food now. It’s self-medication to increase the dopamine levels when I need to write a submission. Unfortunately, my new life of environmental activism means food and I once more have a horrible relationship. I think I will give up food and activism one way or another.
For me it was the cost. I told myself, “when the price goes beyond x, I will quit”. And when I made the decision, I went from 20 a day to zero just over the course of 2 days. I never realised it at the time, but I can see now that I have unusually strong willpower. That turned out to be a biog plus in other areas, too.
I have always abstained from drinking, seeing how it largely destroyed my family. However, in social gatherings drinking becomes the cool factor and if you don’t you are considered uncool or a weirdo. It used to bother me so much but now it does not because at the end of the day it is my health, physical and mental that I need to take care and not what others think of me.
Unfortunately, I had to prune my social networks to be successful. Some people found my quitting to be threatening.
Well, if they feel threatened then it is better to let go and be happier in your resolve 🙂
exactly
Great post, Lou. What really helped me with smoking is when I heard that since familiar situations trigger the cravings for a cigarette, and these can be seasonally dependent, then I had to get through an entire year first, before I would know if I could do it. Like Mr. Bump, I found that I have unusually strong willpower, once I finally make up my mind to do it. I had tried to quit 6 times before, but when I actually completely commit, then I can do it. After a full year, I breathed a sigh of relief. After five years, I still want a cigarette! Every time I think about them I want one. I wish that part would go away.
That feeling most likely will fade. But avoiding the circumstances offering temptation can be key. Thank goodness for the smoke-free workplace!
I quit many years ago but I still smoke in my dreams, yes really!