The world of “druthers,” specifically things we wish we had done earlier, tends to be full of either pleasures we missed out on or sins we wish we had omitted sooner. In my case, I’ll freely admit that among my druthers is quitting smoking and drinking earlier. But then I’ll admit to the fact that, in my case, I quit when I was emotionally mature enough to make the decision and adhere to it.
Now, just so you understand that I don’t think what was right for me is right for everyone, I understand that we all have our less-than-healthy pleasures, and some people keep a leash on them better than I did with mine. Mine were getting to the point that they were heading in the direction of true self-destructiveness. I could sit down for an enjoyable story time with myself, in which I could manage my bad habits. But then the realization would dawn that I could not.
There just reached a point that no fig leaf was large enough to place over my developing problems, and having watched others on the decline, I could no longer hide behind rationalizations.
I tackled smoking first. It took nine attempts. It may have been worse for some of my close associates than it was for me. My first wife left open packs of smokes in front of me, blew smoke in my face, and was generally non-supportive. And this was one of the reasons why the relationship failed. But early in 1981, I tossed my last unopened pack and never looked back – about six years after my first attempt.
Drinking was a lot easier. I was cogitating the issue for several months and slowly cutting back. But one night I partied hard, became disgusted with myself the morning after, and quit then and there. A big part of my desire to quit came from a desire not to provide a poor parenting example for my young children. When it comes to stuff like this, you get help and motivation where you can find it! I’ve been sober since November 1989.
So I’d have loved to drop the habits earlier. But I am glad that I was able to make these positive changes as soon as I did in my life. And there are still some positive druthers out there to enjoy!
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I don’t think the when matters as much as the “I did it.” Quitting either of those is very difficult. I say “good job”.
Once I switched from asking myself, “Can I put up with it?” to “Should I put up with it?” my life changed for the better. I wish I had made this switch at about age 10, or 20, or even 30. But the good thing is, I eventually learned to stand up for myself.