Zot!

My first personal computer was an Apple IIc. Not a breathtaking powerhouse, but what I could afford in the early days of my career as a practicing anthropologist. On it, I churned out scads of proposals, text for exhibits, and memos. I also played thousands of hours of games. But there was a loyal opposition in the house to my using the computer: my cat and my young son.

Dad’s interest in the machine with its flashy lights, thrilling noises of explosions, eruptions, and cataclysms did not go unnoticed. Our black cat, Smidgen, was not so much interested in the doings as she was miffed that my concentration was on the proposal or game instead of on her elegant self. She desired to be picked up, petted and admired. My typing away or destroying the minions of the Yokunion Empire did not float her boat in the least.

Soon, she was elegantly strolling across the keyboard at just the right strategic moment, posing in front of the monitor to lick herself at crucial points and generally making a nuisance of herself. Not long after this, the newly minted toddler, my son Nick, began to take an interest in what was happening in the office.

At first, it was amusing. I’d pick him up and pretend he was playing the game with me. All the noises, the flashing light, what fun for a toddler. Of course, he was not satisfied with sitting on Daddy’s lap for long. Within a day, he was insisting on playing on his own. “Go away, now. Daddy is working.” did not work for long. Taking a cue from the cat he began to play with the keyboard to pirate the computer from me. Then I discovered his “Toddler Super Power”: he could crash the computer with a strategically placed three-finger jab at the keyboard. One jab and everything went “bye-bye.”

The cat and the toddler could scupper an entire afternoon of work, or an evening of playing “Reach for the Stars” with paws and pudgy fingers.

The solution with my son was his own computer program, Pepper Mouse. He’d play at that for hours. Nick seemed willing to allow me time on the computer when he was ready for bed.

The cat was an entirely different proposition. But she proved corruptible with bribes of snacks and catnip.

It’s interesting to note how things have turned out in the long years since that first Apple computer. The son now works in IT, and the cats have their own YouTube channels and computer programs to keep them occupied.

Some things do not change, however. Those dastards in the Yokunian empire have achieved warp seven and transmigratory xenon pulsed canon. We move on to the final confrontation!