Trains

Mine has a harbor scene of a fictional coastal city in Maine. I know people with elaborate desserts and mountain scenery and one who used to have a science fiction-themed one. These are model railroads.

They are not your children’s model railroads that run in a ring around the Christmas tree, although that is where the fascination often starts. Instead, a flat surface will not encompass the almost man-height gulch traversed by a gigantic hand-built wooden trestle.

The model railroaders are as diverse a group as you’ll find. There are those still operating the Lionel trains they received at age nine and those who run elaborately designed layouts that fill an entire large basement. There are “rivet counters” who insist on perfect adherence to prototypes and those who just want to run trains. When visiting a model railroader, it’s wise to be impartial. There are boat builders, bankers, janitors, surgeons, and anthropologists, and they all run trains.

My layout is fictional, and the format is cat-friendly because there are always cats in our homes. For example, my gray cat Clancy, the Gray Menace, slept inside a tunnel on an early layout. He considered it his domain and would watch the trains run from a high shelf, his tail lashing. Before running the trains, there was a particular detail to clean cat fur from the rails. The alternative was to exclude him from the room, which was also my office.
When kept out, he would lurk by the door and sneak in while you were not looking. When ejected, he would howl at the door and attack you when you came out. After that, it was easier to let him sit on his shelf or sleep in his tunnel.

Among the things common to modeling railroads, regardless of era modeled or size, is the concept that it is never finished. There is something that is always lacking completion. On the layout I’ve been talking about, I once decided to build a lake surrounded by mountains. After carefully constructing the lake, I was ready to begin the mountain scenery, only to find the Gray Menace using the pond as a bed. He was an obstinate creature and refused to move. Finally, I threw a cloth over him and started building the scenery for the mountain. He woke later that evening surrounded by a plaster mountainscape. And that’s how Big Cat Lake came to be.

My current cat, Xenia, loves to stalk the small city’s streets on the layout, playing “Catzilla,” I tolerate this because she limits her destructive talents to one area, and little people and cars are easy to put back in place. The photo below is of her”assisting with layout construction several years ago

Her Majesty

You call this slops breakfast!! Take it away!

Yes, I’ll cover it over and leave it here for you to remove. I am an Empress; I demand quality in my service.

Now that we have that settled, open a fresh can of Friskies – you know the one I prefer, and none of that trashy dried kibble, mind you!

When you think you have them trained, they pull a bonehead… day-old food. Give it to the dog. He’ll eat anything.

I have refined tastes.

Howl

There was nothing obsequious about the Gray Menace. Assume that he was some cuddly, cute kitten, and he’d attack. I do not think the term feral was widespread for loose urban cats of his type back then. But that’s what he was. He was curious enough about how the other half lived to try it out. I did not rescue him; he rescued me. And he made that amply clear often in the years that followed.

Living in “chambers,” so to speak, was different than on the street. There was a steady supply of food, warm places to sleep, and a human to harass at need. He rapidly showed command of his new environment. He soon figured out how to flush toilets and turn lights on and off at night. He was the master of his universe.

Sometime in the spring of 1970, I moved to a new apartment. Again, there were many windows to occupy, fire escape to escape to, and multiple rooms to zoom in. But most of all, across the hall, was Fifi. Fifi was a white Toy Poodle who loved to get loose in the corridor and come to yip incessantly at our door. I was warned by Fifi’s owner that should anything untoward happen to her little darling; terrible things would happen.
My reply was that if she wished to avoid terrible things, she should keep her mutt away from my door. Things got frosty after that. After all, Fifi was a pure breed dog, and the Menace a ruffian cat.

It took almost half a year for the inevitable to happen. The Menace got loose in the corridor at the same time as Fifi. Two humans ran around in panic as the cat stalked the dog, and the dog barked at the cat. After a few minutes, it was clear that the combat would be a ritual one between cat and dog, as one hissed and swatted while the other yipped and barked. Both Fifi and the Menace had a good time as the humans screamed and yelled at each other. The threats grew extreme, and soon the neighbors came out of their apartments to see what the commotion was about. Bored, the Menace was studiously cleaning his claws while Fifi demanded her human feed her, taking the edge of her robe in her teeth and tugging her into the apartment. This ended the First Battle of the Corridor.

The Menace and Fifi enjoyed this event so much that it became a regular part of entering and exiting the apartments. One of us would come home, go shopping, or take the trash out, and the Menace and Fifi would be at the doors desiring a rematch. When Fifi moved out, the Menace was bereft until a cat moved in. Then the howling and hissing matches started.

Art

Art according to Xenia H.I.M, Empress of all she surveys:

The remarkable consensus among cats is that they invented great art. Humans merely did a monkey see, and monkeys do routine in admiration of the feline example. 

Kittens do roister about, but adult cats inherit an elegant poise from the feline mistress of creation. This model inspired the dramatic arts of ancient Greece, the might of the Sphinx, poetry, and great literature. 

Now it is true that cats did not invent all art, only great art. As my cousins in Florida, Canada, England, and Virginia agree, melodrama is an invention of dogs. I mean, watch them piteously roll about seeking the affection of those pathetic humans. With those great carbuncles of noses, only a human could love them. Hummphhh!

Well, it’s time for the mid-morning snack, TTFN!

With great thanks to Lois for promting this post!

Breakfast Aria

This morning a five Xenia, Warrior Princess, and Empress of all she surveys decided that it was light enough that I should get up to feed her. I politely declined. She then retired to an acoustically favorable location to sing an improvised kitty aria. I should mention that the head of the stairs has always been a sweet spot that accentuates her “singing.” Unfortunately, last year we had the bathroom completely rebuilt, and the tile surfaces now add additional conviction and strength to her operatic tendencies.
This morning the theme was the fickleness of human love. She sang of abandonment, hunger, and the despair a cat can feel when a beloved human fails her. Then, my son finally opened his door and offered to referee the conflict.

But by now, Xenia had slipped into his room, rubbing, purring, and head bumping with great affection for her young savior. Her tune seemed alated, as if she had wings of joy. ” The fool…I mean, my beloved brother…is going to feed me!”

I rolled over and attempted to return to sleep.

The Mid-Morning Nap

I arise when I wish. This morning I have decided to spend my mid-morning nap in the rococo splendor of my sister’s room. I love the tassels that dangle from her lamp. And being that I abhor being chilled, I have commanded her to turn on her heater.

Later I shall have my father accompany me on a promenade of the Imperial Gardens and dictate a chapter of my biography. Let us see, a good title? From Street to Palace? Or, Xenia, her life and times? Oh well, that’s irrelevant. I’ll have father fix it up and edit it later.

While I’m out today, I’ll need to check out the robin’s nest in the cherry tree. Perhaps a nice blue egg has fallen? It wouldn’t take much to nudge the nest down…but father is such an oaf. He spoils all my fun.

Oh, it’s time for my late morning nap now. Well, ta ta for now.

Moi?

Another rainy day? And why are you waking Moi? Is it time for a second breakfast? No? Is it time for nip? No?

Then go away and don’t bother me until it’s time for my afternoon snack!

You must not to allow the domestics to dictate your day. Always keep a firm grip on the help. Always remember RHIP – Rank Hath It’s Privileges.

Fresh Food

I thought I was being wily. But my ordinarily irresistible charms didn’t make mother reach for that fresh can of food. Instead, she tried to serve me from that stuff in the refrigerator! That stuff has was cryogenically preserved last week. I could have drawn her a map to the fresh food in the cabinet!
I’ll shove the plate past the door where father won’t see it.

“Good morning, sweetheart! Did they forget to feed you? Just wait, I’ll get a fresh can.”

It’s pathetic. It’s almost too easy.

Therapist Needed?

The springtime clean up. If I’m not supervising he’d cover the catnip in mulch!

What’s a cat to do? Mother sighs and says, ” poor Xenia, such a control freak. You need a therapist.”

Therapist! Therapist? Just because I have to watch everything the fool does in the garden? If I’m not outside, I’m in a window.

Hey you! it’s dinner time! Get inside and show me your best can opening technique. Now!

Therapist. I’ll therapist her if dinner is late.