The Present

<p class="has-drop-cap" value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">George was an almost friend, and later, he became an unfriend. But before the relationship turned sour, our little group of associates was regularly involved in a circular game of escalating practical jokes and stunts. It began with the sort of joke store items kids love – flatus cushions, stinky stuff, boxes with exploding snakes rather than candy; you know the kind of thing.<br>Once we had exhausted the mere juvenile, it escalated into more esoteric, sometimes cruel jests. After one such incident, I swore revenge on George – the local anesthetic in the KY Jelly was a step too far. To zing him, I'd have to research his habits. George had a birthday coming, and I decided that my revenge would be by way of an anonymous present.<br>While we were all drinking one night, I noticed when someone told a particularly obscene story, George blushed.<br>George, it seemed loved to make suggestive comments but was a bit of a closet prude when others did so. His newly revealed weakness gave me the idea for my revenge. I first prepared my alibi present, a small work on archeology that I knew that he prized.<br>On the night of his birthday, we gathered at our favorite booth at Smokey Joe's. After the cupcake with candle had been ritually divided and consumed, we began to pass around the cards and presents. My alibi present was at the bottom of the pile with my revenge. I made sure that he opened the alibi first. He was delighted; I had known that he wanted that volume for his collection. It had been costly but was a handy cover for my revenge gift.<br>At last, he picked up the revenge. He carefully removed the wrapping and blanched the moment he saw the print on the box. He made an effort to suggest that he'd take it home and open it later – let's have another drink!<br>I wasn't about to let that happen and led the cheer for him to let us see what was in the box. Turning bright red, George slowly opened the box and found a little trim catalog with suggestive photos on the cover. George blushed deeply while we all howled in laughter. Of course, we suggested that he read from the catalog and show the photos. Ah, revenge. How sweet.<br>George had been making suggestive comments to many of the women in our group that they should buy presents from the local erotic toys store – the Pleasure Chest. Having discovered George's hidden prudishness, I went to the Pleasure Chest and purchased a copy of their catalog that I then had boxed and wrapped. George had gotten several of us with his suggestive or obscene jests, but now the tables were turned.George was an almost friend, and later, he became an unfriend. But before the relationship turned sour, our little group of associates was regularly involved in a circular game of escalating practical jokes and stunts. It began with the sort of joke store items kids love – flatus cushions, stinky stuff, boxes with exploding snakes rather than candy; you know the kind of thing.
Once we had exhausted the mere juvenile, it escalated into more esoteric, sometimes cruel jests. After one such incident, I swore revenge on George – the local anesthetic in the KY Jelly was a step too far. To zing him, I’d have to research his habits. George had a birthday coming, and I decided that my revenge would be by way of an anonymous present.
While we were all drinking one night, I noticed when someone told a particularly obscene story, George blushed.
George, it seemed loved to make suggestive comments but was a bit of a closet prude when others did so. His newly revealed weakness gave me the idea for my revenge. I first prepared my alibi present, a small work on archeology that I knew that he prized.
On the night of his birthday, we gathered at our favorite booth at Smokey Joe’s. After the cupcake with candle had been ritually divided and consumed, we began to pass around the cards and presents. My alibi present was at the bottom of the pile with my revenge. I made sure that he opened the alibi first. He was delighted; I had known that he wanted that volume for his collection. It had been costly but was a handy cover for my revenge gift.
At last, he picked up the revenge. He carefully removed the wrapping and blanched the moment he saw the print on the box. He made an effort to suggest that he’d take it home and open it later – let’s have another drink!
I wasn’t about to let that happen and led the cheer for him to let us see what was in the box. Turning bright red, George slowly opened the box and found a little trim catalog with suggestive photos on the cover. George blushed deeply while we all howled in laughter. Of course, we suggested that he read from the catalog and show the photos. Ah, revenge. How sweet.
George had been making suggestive comments to many of the women in our group that they should buy presents from the local erotic toys store – the Pleasure Chest. Having discovered George’s hidden prudishness, I went to the Pleasure Chest and purchased a copy of their catalog that I then had boxed and wrapped. George had gotten several of us with his suggestive or obscene jests, but now the tables were turned.

For more on George see my story Sub Rosa – http://loucarrerascarver.com/2020/05/04/sub-rosa/