Christmas Tree Hunts – II

Chapter three – The Quilted Woodlot

 A few years after the “Shotgun Christmas,” I was introduced to another Christmas tree hunt style. My first wife’s family was from a small island on the Maine coast. It was their tradition to go to their wood lot and hunt out a tree. They were teetotalers, so I expected no Schnapps, and nobody in that family hunted, so shotguns were out. We walked into the woods equipped with snowshoes and bow saws. This family was quite particular about their tree. Only Balsams deserved consideration, and those had to be perfect. My family’s criteria for trees were out of place here. It seemed that every tree I pointed out had some fatal flaw I couldn’t see. This pattern worked out to be an ongoing theme in the marriage, but I was not yet aware. In any case, the wood lot became quilted by our snowshoe tracks that afternoon. By dusk, it looked rather like one giant spruce covered waffle.

At last, on the very edge of the lot, we spotted the perfect tree. Then came the final test: would Mommy like it? I was cold and wishing for some of George’s schnapps by this time; hell, I’d of been happy to have a shotgun. I listened to them, discussing whether Mommy would like the perfect balsam. After about forty minutes of this, they decided to hike through the lot to the other side to view several other candidates. I decided to stay and watch the sun go down. As they traipsed away, I thought about my frozen feet, hands, and nose. I looked at the saw; I looked at the tree. I went to the perfect tree and started cutting. Sometime later, they traipsed back through the lot and said: “We decided to take this one” as the tree fell. After that, I avoided spending Christmas with my in-laws.

2 Replies to “Christmas Tree Hunts – II”

  1. Teetotalers with no shotguns! That was a bad omen. Are they still your in-laws? I love how you just took charge in spite of their waffling for hours. Don’t think I could have handled that so diplomatically. You did a very good thing there and saved yourself from major frostbite. Love this story.

    Like

Comments are closed.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

By Shreyas

Photographs, Films and Stories

Debbie Gravett

Word painter and story slave

Babsje Heron

Great Blue Herons: A study in patience and grace

Under the mask..

..all this.

Gargoyles and Grotesques

Don't Look Up! Something May Be Watching You...

Paul's Wonderful World of Color

The Color Photography of Paul Szlosek

The Renaissance Mathematicus

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Sammi Cox

Author Aspiring

Stephen Fielding Images

Views of the natural environment & climate change

Family Matters

I'm Victoria Stuart, a poet committed to love's transmission.

Charlie Sheldon's STORIES MADE US HUMAN

STORIES ABOUT THE MOUNTAINS, THE SEA, AND ANCIENT TRUTH

My Two Bits

My thoughts and ideas about life, cats, and whatever else I think about

WEGGIEBOY'S BLOG

Andy and I miss Dougy

Jalsails's Blog

Spontaneous Connections During Tidal Times

Pensieri Parole e Poesie

Sono una donna libera. Nel mio blog farete un viaggio lungo e profondo nei pensieri della mente del cuore e dell anima.

....on pets and prisoners.....

food for the body; food for the soul

%d bloggers like this: