Cats and Dogs

Daily writing prompt
Dogs or cats?

I grew up in a household where the cat and the dog formed a powerful duo dedicated to theft. Typically the two cordially occupied different parts of the house and minimally associated, but put something on the table they mutually desired, and it was the Mission Impossible team. The classic mission was when my godmother brought an elaborate cake for a Sunday gathering. Placed on the table, the people soon left the room to socialize in the living room, out of sight and mind, but only for the humans. Soon Daisy ( our cat) came to scout, and Honey ( our dog)took her station at the door to observe the humans. The cat reported that the goodies were acceptable, and the routine started. She was slowly nudging the cake toward the corner of the table. Honey was in the doorway, keeping watch. Suddenly there was a thud as the cake hit the floor. Next came the feast. The humans were in the other room unwrapping presents, telling stories, having cocktails, and other bewildering human activity.

The cat nibbled delicately, the cake really was not her favorite, but the dog stuffed in as much as possible in the seconds between the cake hitting the ground and the humans coming to investigate. Now came the escape. The cat scampered into a neat hidey hole and avoided the worst punishment. Honey, while small, was too large to disappear under a bed conveniently. She was chased about the apartment until all that exercise proved too much for a cake-stuffed tummy, and she barfed up the cake on my godfather’s shoes. I was soon implicated by laughter; I had little love for my godfather, and instead of seeing the tragedy of his expensive shoes being ruined, I saw a pompous ass brought gutter low.

Later I commiserated with the cat and dog. We had all three of us been punished. Me doubly, because I snuck dinner to the dog and the cat. My parents saw this as a betrayal of my godparents. My godparents had left in a huff, swearing not to return until “that cat and dog” were gone. Ahh…good riddance to bad cess!
Cats and dogs. Forever!

15 Replies to “Cats and Dogs”

  1. Ha. Diego, now sadly departed, ate an entire plated of decorated Xmas cookies off the center of my table last Christmas and earlier had made it out the door with an entire baked chicken. Another time he removed six porkchops from the skilled on the stovetop without disturbing the pan or the flame…and his greatest feat was remving 3 dozen freshly baked cookies from a closed Tupperware container on the counter and somehow replacing the lid so it went undetected for hours, until I decided to serve them. The lid wasn’t sealed, but it was placed precisely back in place atop the large container which was in the exact spot I’d left it in. No godparents present so no punishment, although a dinner guest caught him going out the door with the chicken and retrieved it, saying, “Ill deal with this” and merely cut the area out of the checken where the bite marks were and put it back on the table. Needless to say, I stopped leaving food out for even a minute when there was a chance Diego would be around. Sadly, that is no longer a problem. R.I.P. Diego, who has stolen his last cookie. I even made a retablo that features him making away with his lst one.

      1. Other than food thievery, he was such a sweet dog. Became caretaker and security for tiny Zoe when I got her. Guarded over her with great care and attention.

    1. Diego sounds absolutely hilarious! Because I have a cat who isn’t interested in food, stories of dogs stealing food make me laugh. Louis Catorze’s nemesis Oscar the dog once stole some dolmades from the picnic table and his human sister, aged 10 at the time, was blamed. And my brother-in-law’s childhood dog Rufus once swallowed a whole roast duck, fresh out of the oven, in the time it took Dog Daddy to answer the front door, sign for a parcel and walk back to the kitchen. 🤣🤣🤣

  2. The visual of Honey scarfing down that cake…😆
    Every time we sit down to a meal, Piper climbs up on the refrigerator and stares at us until we are finished. Not the most enjoyable way to eat.

  3. LOL! (And is this why there are no godparents anymore??) Our longest-lived cat, Mitty, would join us in the dining room on chicken nights, ever so politely keeping his back to us from over on the sewing machine, as if merely looking out the windows. He’d hear the first cooling blow of someone readying a bite of chicken for him — ears straight back now — and had all he could do to not turn his head until he heard, “Hey, Mitt..” Sometimes we’d toy with him, 3 or 4 of us would blow one after another and not call him, but he always made out verrry well!

  4. You lived in a house where they … formed an alliance? That only ever happens when the planets and stars are aligned in a certain way.

  5. They had a Teamsters Local. With a great contract that only they could see. Being management I was at a great disadvantage. If they threatened to strike the local driver wouldn’t cross the picket line to deliver.

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