Out-Of-Here

Daily writing prompt

Come up with a crazy business idea.

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OK, I admit it. I am a serial offender, a recidivist of idiocy, and a nonchalant creator of reasonable-sounding whack-job businesses.
Here I am, a consulting anthropologist, marine woodcarver, and videographer. OK, yes, the videography business actually pays the bills, but marine woodcarving has been having hard times since the pandemic. Let’s avoid talking about consulting anthropology.
The problem for me is that I’m not too good at what I’m not too good at. Am I being clear on this?
A former in-law kept coming up with sure-fire ideas for me to make a living: boatyard worker, lobsterman, and tour guide. The tour guide gig actually worked out until someone tumbled to the fact that some of the material I made up on the spot or borrowed. Yes, the haunted house on Spruce Street stuff was “borrowed” from a novel by someone named King. I think. In any case, I offered the company running the tours an olive branch by promising never to give a tour again.
I’ve had mixed luck with some of my other ventures, too. For a while in the nineties, I made paraphernalia for divination – runes hand-cut into ash and oak. That got ruined by Chinese imports, but there was still a small trade for the Von Helsing Guild; they wanted oak stakes. Of course, there always have been the occasional jobs carving hex signs in door and window lintels.
I guess I could come up with some out-of-here business ideas, but I think I may have already done enough damage.