Gifts. Some are just plain suggestive. Some allow you to learn more about the giver than the giver intended. Others offer few clues, and you wonder what motivated the giver to provide the gift. The most important thing the recipient can learn is to be thankful and to display appreciation, even when it’s “tighty whities” from the department store. Once in a while, gifts are meant to be provocative, to challenge your sense of security, and to push from shoal water into the deep.
You ask, “Well, what does this have to do with a woodcarver?” More than you can guess. Sometimes, it’s just a friend buying a wooden spoon for another friend who only uses metal – it’s the sort of “I’ll push her out of her staidness” present. Then there is the expensive custom order from a wife for a husband who is a…shall we say, horndog? The eagle banner typically reads Free Trade and Seaman’s Rights, but in the version she buys, the banner reads Semen’s Rights. I asked for a large security payment on this one. Then, there was the delicate request for an exotically carved sexual aide. I treated this as a jest until she peeled off a few high-denomination bills as payment. As we say in the trade – Money Talks and Bullshit Walks.
The only requests I’ve received from males are for large-breasted figureheads of wives or girlfriends. I have yet to meet the woman who’d want this as a present, but I bravely soldiered on, and whipped out a consent form. Said wife or girlfriend would have to consent to the project before I could proceed with the measurements. That’s the point where the potential client says he’ll think about it.
Yes. Gifts. Some are just plain suggestive. Some allow you to learn more about the giver than the giver intended. And others amaze.
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That’s hilarious. Your solution is very clever.
It took to the third request to come up with it.