Sit Down Dinner

Daily writing prompt

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

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No. No, and No! It’s who you don’t invite. I mean if you’re going to invite your Folkie friends who still wear their old “Free the Treadmore Seven” T-shirts, and sport flea infested long white beards you simply can’t invite Aunt Gracie. Gracie is a DAR snob( Daughters of the American Revolution for you peons who aren’t up on your Society Page News). She’d criticize their tea drinking technique – the pinky isn’t raised! And they’ll respond with a smirk that it’s not the sort of tea they’re used to. The knock-down and drag-out will be colossal. Then, if you’ve invited cousin Tony, from Queens, he’ll start taking bets on who wins. Gracie has a fearsome left hook.

It would be even worse if you hosted this as a sort of garden party at The Country Club. Think of the setting: tables on the lawn in the dappled sunlight of late afternoon. The Better Quality people gather round as the mud wrestling starts in the nearby pond, as the relatives pile on to pull Gracie from the scrimmage—the dive into the pond, the mud, the mire.

Later on you’ll calculate your share of the take with Tony, and pray that it exceeds the damages done to the property.

No. Better to take this bunch out to a fast-casual restaurant and split the check.