I’ve said this before: risk-taking is relative. I had friends who were scared witless over doing something that I’d done with no qualms, like hitching from Boston to Indiana just to see a girl I knew.
Calculating Risk
Hitching seems low risk, until you get run off the shoulder of the road by a drunken idiot who thinks it’s fun, or someone tries to steal your pack or guitar. And right up there are the creeps who are sexual predators and think you are their pet. There is all the walking. Yes walking. You know, you walk between rides, you walk to find good places to stick the thumb out, get away from the fuzz ( police to the uninitiated). And talking about the fuzz, there are the sadistic bastards in their ranks who will chase you off the road, shake you down, and worse.
On the other hand, I was scared of things they did casually, like crossing the knife-edge on Maine’s Mount Katahdin. I finally walked across it, but crept on hand and knees more often.
Then there is sailing—plenty of opportunity for risk-taking there. I sailed extensively with a mad old coot who always pushed the envelope of safety. But, of course, where he’d grown up on the coast of Maine, he’d had a tiller in one hand and the mainsheet to a sail in the other since age nine. He knew how risky some maneuvers were and the tricks that made taking them work. Knowledge and practice are important in risk-taking. There is risk-taking, and then there is taking a calculated risk that your skills and knowledge can handle. I could try some things he did, but not having all his experience, my chances of success were not the same.
It’s All Relative
As I said Risk taking, and how we perceive it is relative.
By my fiftieth year, I’d had to take plenty of risks. Not because I love risky behavior, but because I had to. I also learned how to moderate the risk to acceptable levels. Only fools dive right in.
As the result of a life full of career, relational, and fiscal changes, I am not interested in seeking big risks to pile on top for the idle jest of saying, “There, see, I’ve done it. I’ve already been to see the elephant on a multitude of occasions.
What about you?
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I hitchhiked extensively in my youth- mostly cross country- and yes, I’ve had some traumatic experiences. But I have to say, the genuine acts of human kindness- the people that owed me nothing- but gave me unforgettable lessons on what kindness really means- far outweigh them. I seldom meet people who chose hitchhiking as a means of transportation- so it makes me nostalgic when I hear about it from you.
You’re absolutely right! The people who drove hundreds of miles out of their way, put me up overnight, fed me, and helped out in other ways will never be forgotten.
Yesterday I saw the most beautiful thing. A kid — 15 or so — skateboarding down my street which is a US Hwy — pulled by his dog and carrying poles in case he needed to help himself along. He looked over and saw me and WAVED and I thought, “You have no idea how this old woman GETS what you’re doing 100%.” I used to rollerblade with my dog, not on a US Hwy, but still. The elephant for me has been mostly physical and emotional risk. Of course, since January, I understand what true physical risk is — it’s picking up dog shit from the yard. 🤣
It doesn’t matter how mundane it is; if it’s a risk, it’s a risk. Today, my pulmonologist told me to increase my exercise, but give my body a break. Hmmmmm.
That’s confusing…
I find that more of the risks when I was twenty were things I didn’t realize were risks. I look back and realize I wasn’t throwing caution to the wind intentionally, I just wasn’t paying any attention. In my 50s, I have trained myself to think all the time, so I still take risks, but when I do, I can usually provide a rationale. I never hitchhiked, but I did pick up hitchhikers all the time, as I always owned a car and I did a ton of solo road trips. Never had a scary moment with a stranger inside my car.
When we were young, we often short-circuited the analysis of risk and just did it. The fortunate learn, and the unfortunate learn too, but through misfortune. You and I were fortunate.