Jealousy!

As an adult, I don’t want what I haven’t earned or been given. Over years I’ve learned that the best associations and relationships are those among freely cooperating individuals.

However, there is a subset of the general population that is jealous, negative, vengeful, and seeks to steal what they did not deserve or earn.

It’s not just the personal relationships either. The halls of professional symposiums, academia, and corporate offices are chock full of jealous people looking to seize on someone else’s work or credentials.

Most parents tried to teach their toddlers not to steal other children’s toys, but for some, the lessons never stick. They grow up to be potentially creative adults who lust after what belongs to others rather than create their own. And I’ve come to conclude that that is pretty much what I’ve observed; let’s call it Grown Toddler Syndrome, or GTS for short.

Grown Toddler Syndrome – GTS

GTS can be observed at academic symposiums by grown and qualified Ph. D’s scheming ways to preempt, steal, or discredit work which they wish they could have done, but didn’t. Their doctoral committee wanted them to work in the Solomon Islands rather than urban Chicago ( and no, that was not me!).

In business, GTS appears frequently with superiors taking credit for the work of their subordinates. Has this happened to you? Join the club.

GTS is most frequently observed at clubs about 2 am when Todd, Mary, Joanna, or Luke decides to put the moves on Laura or Jimmy. Laura and Jimmy are a committed pair, but their unavailability just inflames the GTS in the grown toddler.

Unfortunately, we have no clinical model for how GTS can be treated without severe damage to the ego of the Grown Toddler. Merely taking away the object of desire results in sulk, temper tantrums, and gloomy periods of depression.

Sometimes distraction with another object of desire works, resulting in an evanescent reaction, streamers of joy, rapture, and even lust. However, this remission is only temporary. And the sufferer from GTS continues to seek out toys he or she cannot have.

Please note: this abstract is only a brief report on GTS. You! Yes you Grown Toddler out there, already planning on stealing my work, should be warned. I’ve got Ma Fratelli and her boys ( from the Goonies) ready to rip your lips off if you try to steal my work. You see, the only known treatment for GTS at this point is a spanking or the adult analog.

Keep your freaking hands off!