Unless you have been fortunate in love, you have probably heard some variation of the following phases at some point:
- “It’s not you; it’s me.”
- “It’s complicated.”
- ” Please be patient with me.”
- ” Can we just be friends?”
Not being a lothario, nor even deeply into lasciviousness, you might wonder how a clean-cut young folkie like myself wound up hearing these and many more with such frequency that I could reel them off by the handful. Surprisingly it was because I wasn’t as I presented.
On the outside, there I was, scruffy mid-length hair, blue jeans, with Galouise French cigarettes cuffed in the rolled sleeve of the T-shirt. I lived out of a backpack, always had a guitar, and sang a long list of blues and salacious ditties.
According to self-reportage, I was infamous in ten states or provinces, was from New York’s Greenwich Village, and perhaps tomorrow would decamp for the West Coast; grab some while you can, ladies! I am always available.
I attracted those looking for a bad boy, a rebel, and a challenge. There was only one problem, underneath the Folkie threads, music, and all that travel was someone looking for a nice staid domestic relationship.
The kiss of death was that after a bit, the young ladies found that many parents liked me once they knew me. All I needed was a good job and to settle down.
Ahhh, the double kiss of death!
And so I got a lot of:
- “It’s not you; it’s me.”
- “It’s complicated.”
- ” Please be patient with me.”
- ” Can we just be friends?”
- You’re not who I thought you were.”
- “We need to talk.”
- “Can we just start over?”
If your story is reality based I believe that tough attitude is often a way to protect oneself from insecurities that they won’t be able to find someone who will really love them. I understand it but I don’t think they are right in feeling that way. I believe there is someone for everyone.
Thanks for reading the post. The events, while based in real experience, all happened many many years ago in the 1960’s. As they say much water has passed under the bridge since then, but I like to recount some of the adventures and misadventures, because while people grow up and mature, many feature of human behavior repeat across the generations. There are probably folks out there right now doing similar things – with similar consequences. Doing it is one thing failing to mature beyond it is another. In my case I eventually grew up, went in other directions, and find my younger self interesting and amusing. But I’m not sure I’d want him to come to visit for an extended stay.
‘We need to talk’–words I have dreaded in so many different circumstances.