Politics At Home

I have to be careful. As I write this, my lovely Bengal cat Sabrina ( the one with the long claws she loves to use) sits on the shelf above, pretending not to be watching me. Her sober ( and somewhat judgmental) brother, Marcus, is not too far away. Near my feet is my cattle dog, Max. He’s gazing upward at me and seems to be saying, “I’m your favorite, right, dad?”

In the past, I’ve tried to balance cats and dogs as favorites. I do love them both. But I think they’ve been tuning into the news. New demands have surfaced! The nominee for my favorite can’t be something wishy-washy. Damn it! Decide – Canineitarian, or felinetarian.

It’s been a rough few weeks since the election. The dog maintains that the cats are in Massachusetts illegally—shipped from an animal shelter in North Carolina to one in Massachusetts without immigration papers. I try to tell him that North Carolina and Massachusetts are part of the same country, but all he does is glare at me and say, “Sure! That’s a conspiracy theory!”

The cats, on the other hand, try to admonish the dog that his ancestors were from Australia. Without birthright citizenship, he’d be an illegal alien! He glowers, barks, and responds that his ancestors were not from Mars and that there is nothing alien about him. Having provoked him, the cats slink off to sit in front of the wood stove and smirk.

Then, all of a sudden, it’s five in the afternoon—dinner time. The local Teamsters Union of Cats and Dogs united against unfair, exploitative management protest for their rights. “We want food! When do we want it? Now.” Cat and dog solidarity for the common good! Minor animosities are forgotten for the common benefit of protesting against inhumane human management.

Sometimes, I get an almost uncontrollable urge to have a lovely, easy-to-get-along-with pet, like a porcupine or skunk.