Hung Up

People get hung up on anthropomorphized zoology. What I mean is we attribute supposed animal characteristics to humans. And by the way, my dog Max and our cats Marcus and Sabrina say that they’re frankly had it with the idiocy.

First, while they love us, they are disgusted by our disturbing habits. Smoking tobacco? Yick. Brandy, wine and beer? Get a good catnip toot going already. Then there our truly disgusting toilet habits.

Although cats and dogs disagree on many basic issues they agree that humans are nuts. From the sort of pop music they “dance” around with to the awful foods they eat. Who wants to be catorgorized ( so to speak) with humans?

They save their greatest disdain for our habit of comparing humans to cats or dogs. They say someone is “Leonine,” graceful as a cat, faithful as a dog. The Anti-Defamation League should be put on notice that cats and dogs find such comparisons demeaning. It equates superior beings, like cats and dogs, with humans. Humans have disgusting habits like immersing themselves in water and washing with soap. Get a tongue!

Sabrina’s cousin Suzette lives with a human who “sings” in the shower. Her human mate complains that she sounds like a cat in heat. Please! How can you compare human screeching with the operatic majesty of a cat’s vocalization!

Enough! Animals need to protect their good reputations from being sullied by comparisons to mere humans. Get a life already. Compare yourself to Trump, Pelosi, or those basketball players you like so much. Leave us alone.

Daily writing prompt

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

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