Experience

It’s a rare person who confidently says, “I got it right, no regrets.” The speaker is either very lucky or quite delusional. Most of us can do a Monday Morning Quarterback routine on any number of bonehead moves. None of which are editable. OK, now stop and think about that. None are editable. We can’t go back, alter them, and get redo’s except in sci-fi books.

Have you ever heard about the sunk cost fallacy? In this fallacy, you have already spent the money or done the deed and can’t recover the costs. In fact, you often double down on the investment. Since you have already invested so much, you put more into it in the hopes that you recoup your investment. Think about the gambler in the hole, desperately putting more chips down.

While the basic concept is economic, it applies well to other sorts of behavior. Remember that awful relationship you had where the only good news was that she or he decided to leave? Do you recall how you continued to sink effort into it long past the point of no return? Yup, I’ve been there, done that.

This is not some salon concept or something for the economics textbooks. We all have things to regret that we’d love to do over. For me, it was a key part of therapy. I learned that my future actions were something that I could influence, but the past was just that. It might offer instruction in what was to be improved on or avoided, but the cost I had paid was not retrievable.

If our past speaks to us, we should listen, but only as a guide to the future.