I do not play the lottery. But in my family tradition, we try to plan for the unusual as well as the normal. Who knows, I might have a whim one day and buy five tickets. One has to plan for the nearly impossible, right?
So here is the updated plan. As soon as I verify that I am indeed the winner, discard my regular phone, and pull out a “burner phone” with a phone number not linked to me. This way, all the grifters, two-bit hustlers, and most of all the do-nothing distant relatives can’t reach me. Then I take a trip to see, in person, my financial advisor to arrange for the disbursment of money into a variety of savings and investments. I will also arrange for a discreet cash flow.
Quietly, I decamp with my immediate family to a nondisclosed, hard-to-find location. Establish a new email and internet accounts on a brand new computer.
Does all this sound a bit hysterical? Come on! The day after I’m declared the winner, every grifter I knew when I was on the road would be interested in recovering that fiver he or she loaned me in 1965 – with interest. And all the distant relatives from “Ancestry” would want to contact their long-lost dear cousin. Money makes the heart grow fonder!”Friends” who have not called since 1990 will want to make contact, and financial advice would pile up like snow in a blizzard.
Nope, I think I’ll buy a small country and set myself up as Louis I.
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Amazing 😍
I’m very anti-gambling, but I allow myself a single line in our twice-weekly draw. Couple of dollars. Why? Because otherwise, there’s nothing money-wise to dream about.
I’m pretty against gambling too, I’ve had some friends who gotswept up in it. I’m old enough, though, to remember the mob run “numbers” in New York. You’d get a number at the local candy store. Every week a “bagman” would come around to collect the take. Every once in a while, some idiot would rob the bagman and wind up in the East River.
I had a stint in my early twenties where my friends and I enjoyed a visit to the betting shop on a Saturday. Even if we won, it paid for Saturday night, s’all. Sunday would just be the same old shit.
Even with the lottery now, I chose 6 numbers at random, numbers which had never won before, as far as I could check. I have played those numbers twice a week for maybe 2 years and never won a penny, so feels like a real waste. But the day I stop… 🤣
Good plan!
Louis I has a nice ring to it. Almost familiar. Just remember though, “No man is an island.”Your wife will want a nice house and servants. 🙂
My wife wants a simple palace, no more than 20 rooms. It’s the cats and the dogs that are holding out for sybaritic luxury.
😄
This made me smile. The way you walk through the “just in case” plan feels half practical, half tongue in cheek, and very human.
It’s interesting how imagining sudden change really shows what we value most, like privacy, family, and a sense of control. Even as a thought experiment, it says a lot about how we think about security and trust.
You are spot on about this.
You crack me up here, Lou. I agree with that plan. My sister always shows up when she needs something, otherwise I’m ghosted. Sad but true. Even though I tell her the bank of Marlene is closed, she calls me from the side of the road on her way home and says she doesn’t have enough to make it. Like I’m going to wire money to her car??? I don’t play lottery either. 🙂
Yep, you are right about all of this. I bet that’s why some folks who win stay anonymous