The LIST

Daily writing prompt

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

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There is something to focusing on the problems at hand rather than the unknowable. You can prepare responses. You can sometimes analyze with an almost forensic intensity how severe they may be and the sort of response that might make them resolvable. The sticky, hard-to-resolve ones are the ones we’ve created. Bad relationships are one I can think of in that category. It was glorious, until it wasn’t. And now we are faced with the strategic retreat. Or perhaps the rout. There can be finances to disentangle, entire domestic situations, and lots of hurt feelings.

The Great Unknown

That brings us to the unknowable. Those unpleasant tag ends that refuse to unravel, get larger every day, and have complicated our lives. No matter how serious or observant we were in the process of extracting ourselves, they are like splinters that resist pulling. In one case, I can recall only with a wince, the splinters were more like porcupine quills to pull. It seemed that every attempt to extricate myself from the situation complicated it.

Sometimes you can’t throw enough resources at a problem. And you wind up looking up from the bottom of a big hole. That’s where the LIST began.

The LIST

On the wall behind my computer monitor is pinned the LIST. These days it has mostly existed as a group of planning points for my seasonal affect disorder ( SAD). It’s a list of things to implement as a relief from SAD. Recently as I’ve begun to plot my actual retirement ( at age 80…soon) it’s begun to morph into strategies for easing the transition from a working life to retirement. The LIST is not a plan, it’s a set of planning exercises or elements. It’s more flexible and responsive to the unknown than a static plan.

The origin of the LIST was in the 1970’s when I had just ended a divorce, a disastrous follow-up relationship, and a career crisis after grad school. At the prompting of one of the women I was in a relationship with, I went into counseling. And yes, if you are thinking that I was one messed-up puppy, you are correct!

Three times was the charm; my first two attempts at counseling didn’t work out. Then, at a community social services organization, I started working with Joel. It was a pretty hefty three years of work. By the end, I had made large steps towards emotional maturity and assumed adult responsibilities for my actions.

A Tool for Survival

One of the tools that came out of the process was the LIST. See a crisis coming, or just decide to reinforce your resiliency, start a list.

You may never do all the things on the list. There are no check markds and it’s not a roadmap, or a panacea. It’s just a planning tool. You’ll add to it and subtract from it as your grasp of what might be needed grows. My list for SAD includes things like physical therapy ( keep your body healthy), practicing my guitar, museum visits, taking my wife out for coffee, and about ten other things. Depending on your situation, your list will be unique. It’s not a panacea, as I said; it’s just a tool for nibbling away at the problem at hand.

As my LIST evolves into a planning tool for retirement, several new items have been added. One has been a budget planning exercise for a more limited cash flow, and (drum roll please, Maistro), going to counseling.

Caveat: This may not be your thing! I’m mentioning it because it helps me; if it is of assistance to you, I’m pleased. But I know that it’s not for everyone. This is not one of those TikTok influencer spots where I sell you a product guaranteed to remove that little parasite that is wrapped around your tonsils. That’s my buddy Fred.