Any resemblance, real or fictional, to actual bloggers, is strictly fictive:

The racket from the football game drowned everything out except for Carl’s loud snore. It would not be wise to wake him and stop the snoring; the tirade it would generate would not be worthwhile. Besides, this is the most sleep he gets. Carl is up all night drinking brandy, writing his blog posts for the next day, calling friends at four in the AM, and then tumbling into bed at six.
Then comes the long interval without a breath. In the kitchen, my girlfriend, a nurse, looks worried, ” has he been to a doctor? I’d wonder if he’s hypoxic with this breathing pattern.”
Reclining in his Lazy Boy lounger, Carl lights up a Camel and calls out, ” Hey Carmen, canya get me ‘nother beer?”
I walk into the living room and suggest that it’s a nice day and an excellent opportunity to perambulate around the garden. “Naw, I gotta check my stats on WordPress and then respond to the comments. Damn, this game is awful…did you see that play?”


There was a Magic Eightball under the Christmas tree one year for my sister. I spent weeks ( it seemed at the time) waiting until I was allowed to use it; under supervision. She is four years older than me, and frequent eye-rolling ensued because she considered the things I’d ask childish. Since she was a teen, there was much drama about her requests that I couldn’t understand. So I determined to wait till night, swipe the Eightball, and use it without her.
That night under the canopy of blankets and lit by a flashlight, I began exploring the world of the Eightball. Having spent the evening watching horror movies, some of my questions ranged to the macabre. The Magic Eightball’s answers did not help me get to sleep that night.
After that when my sister wanted to play with it, I played elsewhere. One weekend the Magic Eightball got left at a cousin’s house, and we never bought another.
I didn’t give the toy another thought until I was in the Navy. Fixing logs and reports is a Naval tradition dating at least to the late 18th century unless the Phoenicians invented it. It’s called “Gun Decking.” There are many maintenance reports, logs, and summaries to fill out. Minimal changes occur in the reporting periods. Sometimes the entire report is make work. There is lots of make-work at sea. Eventually, clever bosuns came up with innovative ways to make the process easier. Sitting around the shop shaking the Eightball while having your tenth cup of Navy coffee worked fine. At one point, I worked for a master of the technique. Mahan never got caught, and his shop was acclaimed as an object of efficiency. He claimed the Magic Eightball was responsible.
Recently I’ve learned that many bloggers use the Magic Eightball as assistance in plotting their stories.
Should I end this post now? “It is certain,” says the Eightball. Bye.

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