One way in which the Catalan showed up in my father was advice. On revenge, it was mixed; a man who seeks revenge digs two graves, or revenge is a dish best eaten cold. My mother merely smiled and reminded me that good things come to those who wait. Neither of them were precisely neophytes about this either, and I’ve realized the wisdom of their counsel over the years.
Nowadays, The vibe is that “enemies lists” are so Nixsonian. And yes, I do have an enemies list. But it is almost empty.
Time has taken care of what anger could not. At one point, the list boasted a coterie of some of the biggest A-holes I had ever met. But to quote another old saying my dad enjoyed, “Keep family and friends close, and your enemies closer.” My dad liked to keep tabs on those who displeased him. If they were in the neighborhood, he wanted to know where and why. And so, via the internet, I have kept the occasional tab on those for whom I hold in dread regard.
Frankly, it takes too much energy to plot an effective revenge, and I’ve learned that if a person irritated me so much that they wound up on the “list,” they were upsetting others, too. It was just a matter of time before they wound up in the sights of someone they should have left in peace. The list has emptied between that and their eventually coming to their “just rewards” via age.
I’ve confirmed two of my parent’s proverbs on revenge – that it is best eaten cold and that good things come to those who wait. Two out of three is not bad.
But about grudges and enemies, I’ve found that the best way to stay clear of “lists” may be the simple “I’m sorry.” Regret, expressed sincerely, resolves many issues, and disrespect and poor manners fuel anger.
This reminds of that old joke: A priest asks whoever is without enemies to please raise their hand. One old woman does. He calls her to the front of the church and questions: “No enemies?” “None” she replies. “How is that possible?” asks the priest. “I outlived the bitches” responds the woman.
Yup. that’s the big part of it. The best revenge is a life well lived!
I have one name on my list and I wouldn’t call it a grudge. It’s more like “Thar’ be dragons!” or “Piso mojado!” or “Rattlesnakes may be present.” If she shows up at my house — as she very well might sometime assuming she remembers where it is I’ll offer her some tea, listen to her talk, then tell her I have to feed the dogs. She doesn’t like the dogs.
You are too kind. I just step out onto my front porch and close the door behind me…”I don’t want the cats to get out” is what I offer. What I’m thinking is, “I don’t want you to come in.” Meeorrww!
I think you can guess who is on my list or is my ENTIRE list. 🤣 A text message managed to slip through the barrier a few weeks ago and, nice person that I am, I responded and I got the usual Perla crap. Good god.
sage advice at the end there…
Some people are incapable of saying sorry. I ensure that I am not one of them.