Sky Pilots

I sort of knew there were ethical issues with the chaplains when the “padre” dropped the dime on me to the executive officer of the squadron. The problem was small but got me a bit of “non-judicial” punishment. I never trusted a Navy chaplain after that. The sky pilots were not on the list of confidantes.

Of course, my issues with the life religious goes back further than that. The Sisters of Perpetual Pain used the yardstick on me in school, and the ugly priest who used to grin when they beat the kids was no fun either. Fortunately, my father switched me to public schools. Schoolyard bullies were easy after Sister Margaret De Sade.

As an adult who seriously rejected authority figures, the power vested in people who claimed paramount and infallible links to the godhead began to bother me. I got into a nasty habit of asking ministers what the exact scriptural authority was for certain behaviors. When they mumbled or rallied around medieval church “fathers,” then smiled and assured me that they knew what they were doing, I smelled a rat.

In the Christian denomination I had landed in, there was a sort of off-color joke that their ministers tended to fool around with their organists. I didn’t overthink about it; it was age-appropriate and between consenting adults. But after the reports of sexual abuse became more than a flood in multiple denominations, I got upset – neither age-appropriate nor with individuals capable of giving consent. It now seems that no religious institution is a safe harbor from potential sexual abuse.

Then there are people like the “Bling Bishop,” recently convicted of using his congregation to fund an extravagant lifestyle. Examining the news and historical texts demonstrates that fleecing the flock is a tradition that goes back to the ancients. Gotta have that diamond pinky ring, those custom shoes, and the bespoke suits! Why bother getting a business degree when there are easier ways of living large?

So, you have suspicions that I am mildly skeptical of the professionally religious and their Crystal Palaces. I can not deny it, but it doesn’t mean that I’m neither spiritual nor religious. I pray every day—and not only for myself! But I don’t attend services. True, I know that not every minister is a creep. But now I also watch as multiple denominations splinter, debate, or fight over things like birth control, gender, more sexual abuse, the role of women, and LGBTQ issues. It’s like watching a bad family fight – thankfully from a distance.

And as for me? I’ve decided to keep my distance. Quietly observe in my own way and watch the fools destroy the edifice they built.