Bottle Club

The question posed to us was” What on earth am I going to do now that they have discovered where I had been hiding out my barrels?”

The poser of the question was the redoubtable Chief Petty Officer John O’Toole. The barrels in question were the legendary barrels that were the “official” source of the ships ‘bottle club.” CPO O’Toole being the principal bootlegger and proprietor of said club.

Legend had it aboard ship that there were three hidden barrels. They were somewhere aboard and were brimming with bourbon, whiskey, and rye. The ship built towards the end of World War II was still in service in the mid-1960s. But she had been rebuilt and modified so often that the ship’s plans were inaccurate. According to the legend, there were hidden and sealed off compartments that only very long-serving Bosun Mates were privy to. It was assumed that CPO John O’Toole was one of the favored ones.

The Bottle Club

The bottle club was for Officers Country only. The enlisted ranks made do with the rare smuggled bottle, or Jungle Juice. If you had connections, you might get some of the pop-skull that the Aviation guys put together. It was made from the alcohol used to fuel torpedoes—dangerous stuff.

But the officers had, and protected, the bottle club. From the sanctified three barrels flowed the ambrosia of the Gods. The plain, unlabeled brown glass bottles might have started off life as containers of lowly goods. You know what enlisted put up with. But once filled from the barrels. Only Ensigns and above might partake. When aboard, Admiral Outlaw himself was said to prefer the superior fare available only from the bottle club.

With this sort of reputation, it was nothing less than a tragedy that the Master At Arms had finally located the barrels. Not only had he found them. He broke them into shattered staves. Mere booze could be replaced. But Myth and Legend could not be.

Being the youngest and newest recruit to the Bottle Club staff, I exercised patience and said nothing until my seniors had exhausted their ideas. Then I looked at O’Toole, and suggested this, “What if we put out the word that the Master At Arms found some barrels that were put out to be found. You know decoys. We’ll hint that the decoys fooled the MAA. Also, it’ll make the Myth and Legend deeper. Mere mortals can’t locate the barrels.

The Myth and Legend Live On

And so the word was passed. One thing everyone loved more than bootleg hooch was a good sea story. And this one had more than a hint of salty air and spume about it. Business picked up. The MAA grew surly, but couldn’t locate the barrels.

Where were the barrels? Well, the original barrels were hidden, but were there to reinforce the Myth and Legend. That was why it was such a disappointment that they were located. They never held anything but a decoy liquid. The real booze came aboard in the sealed and locked cruise chests that arrived with the air squadrons when the carrier deployed. To crack those babies, you’d need some hefty credentials, like those from Naval Intelligence.

The Master at Arms always suspected, but couldn’t do more than glare. And me? O’Toole told me that I was going places in this man’s Navy. But mostly I just went to sea.