A friend of mine always said that in life, you could either be a passenger or drive the train. When you are young, you are pretty much a passenger; you need to learn the ways of the world, grow up, and hopefully learn to drive your life in the direction you want to go in.
For me, serendipity, fortune, or providence played an important role. It pulled me back when my poor train driving skills threatened to put us off the rails. I had treated caution with disdain. On the advice of friends, I went into therapy and returned to school. I needed to learn new skills and perspectives. Did I stop adventuring? No, but I learned caution. I learned not to rush into every bad opportunity just because it was alluring.
Now I know people who went through processes similar to mine. One found religion. One denied the wild side entirely. And one seemed to be redeemed, but slipped back across the border quietly one night, and was lost.
I refused to forget where I had come from in life. It is a prologue to the life I currently lead. I am honest about that background and view it as a sort of pool of credit that I can draw upon in need.
Driving the train doesn’t so much get easier; it just becomes less of a ride to a potential train wreck waiting to happen and more of an adventure. As you mature, you bring more and better resources to the job – if you pay attention.
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I just learned that I am just a couple hundred euros short of emigrating to Italy. Forced caution? I dunno… but I want out of here.
Start a go fund me site: “Send Marta to Italia!” But I thought you were happy where you are?
Happiness is an act of will. This morning I realized how much the ambient uh, shit, gets to me. I need to have a passive income of 35000 euros a year and I only have 33000. I’ll have to stay here and keep exerting my will on the ambience… I think it started last weekend when my neighbor set up 50 American flags in front of his house then hung three from his actual house as a demonstration of his patriotism. This weekend we’re having the town’s biggest event — Stampede. A parade today, one tomorrow. I can’t even look at them. I know what they will be. I really want out, but I’ll get over it.
I understand
Thanks for listening to me whine…
It ain’t whining. It’s getting harder and harder each day to put up with the political diarrhea coming out fo Washington.
thank you, Lou. It really does take a kind of discipline.
There’s a lot of truth in this. I used to think being in control meant charging ahead — but learning to slow down, reassess, and ask for help changed everything. Still driving the train, just with better brakes now.
You got it!