I grew up with a father who shared his observations on many of life’s foibles. The stoop of a Washington Heights apartment building, where he was the superintendent, was often the place where he did it. From there we could observe the obvious “pusher”, the pimp, the Mob “bagman” on his rounds, and the petty criminal. The lesson wasn’t just about the legality of their actions, but also about the tragic consequences of their actions on the community and individual lives.
The moral lesson that they were bad and the actions illegal was impressed early. So when I went out on my own, I was young but not lacking in a basic education of good, evil, and that which lay between.
But now I’ve covered that legal stuff. We probably all know individuals and groups that steer a narrow course on the law, but aren’t good. We also all may have run into people who publicly look good, but when no one is looking, kick the dog, beat the kids, and are offensive, mean individuals. And leaving aside the strictly illegal stuff, it’s all that other disturbingly personal junk that makes me think of someone as not good.
I had one or two of these people as bosses. One had a polished veneer for the public and superiors, but was abusive to his staff. Foolishly, he assumed that his personal rottenness was concealed. But most people who had dealings with him figured out his true nature rapidly. My friends and I had a term for people like him – they kiss up and kick down. Most of these people lack even a whit, or bare clue, that it doesn’t take too long for the thin varnish of civility to wear off. The corrupt nature underneath is revealed in due course.
So here is the quandary. Having lived an “interesting life,” I’ve run into many people who frequent the wrong side of the law for a variety of reasons, but are otherwise good people. Sometimes the law they fail to observe is bad, blind, or misapplied. Sometimes it’s personal or economic desperation that made them break the law.
So what does it mean to be a good person? I guess I am still thinking about it, and maybe need to contemplate the issue more. There are things and people that I am more comfortable placing into a specific category. But others defy easy categorization, and I haven’t even gotten to politicians yet!
I hate to use that catch-all phrase that “it’s complicated”, but it is.
What does it mean to be a good person?
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There are definitely nuances to being a good person. I’d say living your life purposefully, in a way that doesn’t harm others would be up there. But, as you say, there are some that do a good job of faking that in public.
Yes, but it’s like the old saying that you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people. Good masks are not perfect, and cracks appear.
“Do no harm.” I dunno — pretty much the subject of my blog post today and that’s not meant as advertising. It’s just been on my mind a lot.
I’d be worried about you if you had said it wasn’t complicated. 🙂