What my wife does know won’t hurt her.
What she does know is that as my father before me, all a pretty vessel needs to do is whistle, and I’ll pack a cruise bag. I doubt she’d worry too much. I barely looked at another woman for these past forty years. So she does not need to grill me about those affections; they are all for her. I think she feels that boats and ships are a safe diversion for a husband.

Since restarting the nautical carving business in the ’90s, I’ve spent lots of time on boats, near the water, and talking to sailors. What I have not had is an opportunity to ease the fervent desire to get back to sea, if only for a short cruise. My last opportunity was a half-day spent on a sea-going tug doing video.
I’ve tried to suggest to my wife that a cruise on a cargo liner might be pleasant or an overnight ferry to Halifax. I’ve thought about forging prize award papers -“look, honey, we’ll have to go. We’ll lose out on the prize otherwise!” No luck.

I’ve learned from hard experience that what you put off too long doing you may never do. So here it is, all ready for publication:
professional carver, videographer, and folksinger available for cruises. Good liberty ports are a must. Out of practice but probably still capable of partying all night. Works cheap for food and berthing.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

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