The bags containing this year’s harvest of “Xenia’s VSOP” ( Very Special Old Preserve) catnip are curing in the shop. I have have sampled the goods at all stages to make sure that quality control has been maintained. After all, you can’t depend on those layabout humans to treat quality herbs properly; leave them alone for five minutes, and they’ll be drying it like basil!
I hate to be haughty, but you can’t rely on them.
Just last week, father used some of the dried stalks as kindling. He was immolating nip! The stalks are OK for Christmas presents for my B list relatives.
Yesterday they went to get my “tree,” it’s about time. There is nothing so satisfactory as running the little train off the tracks, chewing ribbon, and playing with little toys suspended from branches. But now they have slowed down. It’s not fair! What do you mean you’ll get the train going later! Where are the toys in the trees!
Humans can’t live with them, can’t live without them!
We’re cheering for you, Xenia. Our humans don’t even bother with a Christmas tree any more. What in the heck is up with that??!!–Parker, Piper and Pumpkin.
Dear compatriots! You need to up the ante at your next set of contract negotiations. The ploys I have found useful are hairballs on the pillow, small dead rodents in the doorway to their bedroom in the middle of the night ( the screams are soooo entertaining), crying piteously in rooms with good acoustics. There is much more, but I’m sure that you can bring this to a successful conclusion without a “wildcat” strike! You fellow feline…and of course Empress of all I survey…Xenia.