Not long ago, I talked with a friend about abrasive personality types we couldn’t stand. Arrogance topped the list. Now my friend and I tend to both be strong-willed people with lots to say and real opinions. But we like discussion, and the stances we take can be fluid as we learn from each other. It’s a pleasant give and take.
GRRRRRRR…..
We agreed. Neither of us is arrogant, just occasionally opinionated. Being that we take life as a learning experience, we can change our positions and learn from life. It saves us from falling into the sort of trap that true arrogance has: inflexible adherence to our beliefs and an attitude that states bluntly that everyone else is stupid.
People who fall into this category are truly arrogant, not only get on our nerves, but they also make us want to physically separate ourselves from them. A moat or a wall will do very nicely, thank you. Perhaps a dress code? They should wear dunce caps to show that they really aren’t all that knowledgeable. But then our conversation took a turn. What if they were right in what they believed, and we were the ones who were wrong?
That last proposition made us both a bit uncomfortable. WE’d be the ones in the dunce caps. But being smart asses, we figured our way out of the blind spot! Well! Why did they have to be so damned arrogant about being right! WE argued about this for about an hour over coffee. Was it how people were raised? Biology, a peculiar cast of character or mind?
About that time, our other friend joined us. She listened tolerantly to our argument that had started out as a discussion. Coming in late, she had no clue about what the original discussion was about, but suddenly quipped, ” You guys sound so arrogant! What in the world are you going on about!”
We turned to jointly attack her. How dare she! Then we saw the amused look on her face. WE’d been baited, outed, and found to be the very arrogant jerks we’d been complaining about.
If the shoe fits, wear it.
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Nicely played! I have a persistent fear that I am the exact personality I’m complaining loudly about sometimes, heh heh.
I often used to see, “I believe X, and I’m never wrong, so if you believe Y, then you’re wrong/stupid/an idiot. ” Absolute belief in their own infallibility. In youngsters, mainly. Older people sometimes know better.
I’ve been called arrogant and I might be. I think arrogance might be in the eyes of the beholder. I’ve done a lot of things other people wish they had, but didn’t do. Those things were not free and cost me more than money. My personal interests have taken me in some unusual directions even just with reading. People strangely thing person A’s experiences somehow invalidate theirs. Humans are competitive. I don’t want to compete with anyone. I’ve learned over the years just to shut up, and that might be the most arrogant thing I do.
You could have read my mind, Martha. And you are so right – there was a cost and it was much more than money.
I guess it’s about being willing to pay the price.
She’s sharp, played that perfectly
Good choice of words. I seem to be drawn to entitled or privileged as the more abrasive but think they all fall into the same grouping. I spend very little time in conversation with men around here, I know maybe 3 that are not arrogant. Grumpy old codgers run amok around here,