We’ve all heard the expression, ” You can never go home again.” Having experienced it, I can tell you that it’s not the places—it’s the people.
Most of us have vague ideas of one day traveling back to somewhere we prized. Wiser heads warn us not to do it. Most of us go ahead and try anyway. I returned to New York City to find my old neighborhood unrecognizable and then had people ask me where I was from because my accent had changed. At that point, I had lived in New England for forty years and sounded more like a New Englander than a New Yorker. It was like a dash of cold water on the face.
One summer after working in Maine at the WoodenBoat School, I detoured on the way home to deliver a set of quarterboards to a client. From his house to where I had lived “in the day” was an hour’s drive. Oh, what a mistake. The site where I had lived no longer sported a cabin. It now was an entire subdivision. I retreated as rapidly as I could. In town, I recognized some businesses, but I needed people. And no one recognized me.
More recently, we visited a small city in Connecticut. Sitting in the restaurant, I had a weird deja vu sensation. Something about the center of this town seemed familiar. Then, I began to perspire. Oh yes. Around the corner, there, and down the stairs, there had been a coffeehouse I had played in. A feeling that I was being watched crept over me. Was it that attractive, mature lady? She was about the right age. Could it be? Luckily, my wife wanted to be on the road ASAP, and I did too.
Had it been Janet? I don’t know, and I feel grateful that I didn’t find out. Introductions could have been awkward. Sometimes, it’s best to leave the past alone.
” You can never go home again,” goes the saying. Having experienced it, I can tell you that it’s not the places—it’s the people. As always, be careful what you wish for.
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Your reflections on ‘going home’ resonate deeply. It’s so true that it’s not the places but the people that hold the memories. Your stories capture the bittersweet nature of revisiting the past beautifully—sometimes it’s best to treasure it as it was. Thanks for sharing! ❣️
I also agree that there’s “no place like home” I mean literally, there is no place on Earth like the place in our mind we think of as “home.”
True, and for some it’s a physical location and others its a social milieu.
It does your head in, doesn’t it, when an area you remember well has changed beyond recognition? I am terrible at reading maps, but landmarks have rarely failed me, except now. Am just getting too old.
I found that their is an almost invisible tab on the far left marked recents. by toggling that you can find some f the most reent posts you’ve received. They explain nothing, just let us flounder about.