Let’s face it. We all need a pet, well-trained velociorator around the house. Yes, they are a bit rambunctious, need lots of fresh meat, and their ancient reptile mind has its limits in terms of trainability. But just think of the joy you’ll get when you set it free on the most recent rip-off artist who knocks on your door offering to sell and install cut-rate solar panels!
Yes! The joys of seeing the team offering to install new gutters and downspouts (proof against the worst squalls and spring showers!), running away in horror. Yep! Good old “Godzilla” chasing them into the next county!
All this and more can be yours! Don’t delay! Call Jurassic Industries today! * Call: 555-3566! Yes that’s right! 555-DINO! Operators are standing by!
Audio (sound of a dinosaur roaring and people screaming)
*a limited-time offer. Special pricing applies. Jurassic Industries, Limited Ltd hereinafter referred to as JILTD, assumes no responsibility for misuse of the product or subsequent loss of life or limb.
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So fun.
Very fun read.
Thanks Violet!
If I call now do I get another one? With free shipping?
No free shipping! UPS, FedEx, and USPS all refuse to carry the buggers!
haha!
You think I jest!!! When I was at UPS a hub in New York found an alligator duct taped up and shipped to NY from Florida.
From Florida. Holy moley! And yet, of course!
WE knew it was you Lois!
Do I have to apply 001 on the telephone for the States. Could become a little expensiver for me in little Switzerland. I would love a pet like that.
won’t wwork for you! Louis would start giving it orders. You know those parakeets you hated – gone. your neighbors who had a cat he disliked? Gone. Just too much risk. Think about Cat Daddy’s next meet up with friends. They might get chased from the door. And You already have Louis! Why ask for more trouble!
Allow me to introduce you to Lamont and Dude. Once upon a time they were velociraptors and then they died and came back as a Smilodon and Mammoth and died and then were trees and then were a bear and a salmon. There are many episodes in their story. They might cheer you up in a bleak winter. Here’s one link. https://marthakennedy.blog/2020/08/17/lamont-and-dude-discuss-victory/
Prehistoric Philosopher Kings.
Live through a few incarnations and you can still be run over by a dune buggy.
HaHa!