Self-description. The deluxe route to self-aggrandizement. Too humble, and people believe that you have poor self-confidence. Too grandiose, and you imply a Napoleon Complex – especially when you tuck that hand into the jacket. Entire texts have been composed by people promoting resumes, Curriculum Vitae, and elevator talks on this subject. What are the alternatives?
Show Me
For everything other than the real elevator talk, I’ve always preferred the ” show them” approach. I was once up for a consulting job in anthropology. The interviewer wanted to have a lunch meeting. I suggested meeting at a nice restaurant in the community where I had been working as an anthropologist for several years. I knew that several people I had worked with in the community could be inveigled to “drop in”. During lunch, they did. There is nothing quite as good as having others do the talking for you. I got the consulting job.
As a carver, I do the same thing. It’s why I did well at boat shows. My carvings on display did the talking for me. “All of these you carved?” After proudly asserting that I did, I’d offer a tour of the pertinent pieces and ask them to tell me about their boat. It was much easier than trying to talk without references.
To some extent, such conversations are dependent on the sort of business ecosystem your trade exists in. In my case, the fruits of my labor were doing the selling. I’m very comfortable in that environment: I have lots of “show me” sorts of stuff.
Talk, Talk, Talk!
I am less confident in my abilities to just concisely talk on one subject. I’m not just about one thing, and the traditional elevator talk seems to be too confining. So when someone asks, “Tell me about yourself,” it’s like opening Pandora’s Box – I’m not quite sure what will seem relevant at that moment. The speckled bird billet head that a boat owner wanted commissioned because the boat is the Speckled Bird, the work I did for the Smithsonian in 1987 and ’88, or how I got from one to the other.
Luckily for myself, I’m no longer placing myself in situations where displays of humility, pride, or skill need balancing in a five-minute talk. While not retired, I am proudly not looking. It makes it easier to say to someone asking me who I am just to reply – I am as you see me. Don’t like it? Lump it.
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When you are working, people ask what you do. When you are retired, people ask what you do. The fascination with what we ‘do’ boggles me. As a retired person, what do I do? “Whatever I want to do.” **slow fade as I wave and walk away** 😃
It’s all weird. With my job? “I teach writing.” “Oh, I hate English.”
English and Spelling got me through school. My favorite subjects.
English and Home Ec got me through school. I didn’t even like Home Ec but I’d already learned everything at home. 🤣
I still do lots, as I am sure you do too, but manypeople are not interested. Its just a conversational entree to them talking about themselves.
So true. The talking about themselves part.
Show me – don’t tell me is the only way to go!
, “Tell me about yourself,” it’s like opening Pandora’s Box – I loved that phrase! Also letting others do the talking for you. I’d have to try hard to keep quiet. Not a skill I possess in any substantial quantity. It fascinates me that people always ask what you do, not who you are. This is a very expansive subject. The ADD is in full swing so I’ll end here before I wander off completely without sending comment. 🙂
Your comments are always welcome!
We always said “if you don’t like it lump it”. Never hear it from the kids today
It’s a saying I got from my parents, too!
Me too, like insearchofitall, I strongly resonate with the “Tell me about yourself” is like opening Pandora’s Box. I talk too much, or in the wrong direction, inviting chaos… It’s too big a subject. Or too little… “Ex-truck driver, customer service rep, web designer, schizophrenic..” wow. Opens up way too many divisions that are politically incorrect to even approach. It’s who I am though! Thanks for your writing 🙂
It all shows that you are interesting. Not just a paper cut out, like many people because they are afraid to live.