When I did a booth at boat shows to sell my carvings, I often took my entire family with me. My wife and the four kids would run around the show and local sites all day. The kids enjoyed it, and my wife loved being off work and having the whole family together. The fly in the ointment was that by the time the show closed at the end of the day, we had six tired people, and sometimes little interest in cooking an evening meal at the campgrounds. So at least one of the three evening meals that weekend was at a restaurant.
If you had to feed four hungry kids in a tourist trap coastal town in New England, you’d know that the “best” of restaurants may be pricier than you’d like. The popular answer was the local pizza parlor; a distinct improvement on cooking over a camp stove for two tired parents. Being that dad was footing the bill on the cash over the table proceeds for the day, it usually guaranteed not going bankrupt. Usually.
House of Pizza
Many of the shows we did yearly were always located in the same town so we had favorite places we liked to go—no visits to Teddies Edible Flotsam Emporium and Tea House. We notably favored the Rockport House of Pizza in Maine. They were kind to our four kids, had great pizza, and did not cost a small fortune to feed a family.
One year, some of our friends decided to join us. They were a couple without children. Now, if you lack children and don’t have access to surrogate mobs of kids, you may not be intimate with their ability to pack away food. Our oldest, Nick, particularly had a reputation for consuming large amounts. Skinny and lanky, Nick was known in the family as “the bottomless pit“. He never met a pizza he didn’t like.
That night Nick packed away three pizzas, as well as appetizers and drinks. Nick loves an audience. Sensing that he was astounding our friends, he soon began an act – opening his mouth wide and gulping down slices easily. He slyly watched their astounded looks as pizza after pizza disappeared down his throat.
Later, in the privacy of our tent, I explained to my wife that Nick had eaten up a significant amount of the day’s proceeds from off-the-table sales of small items. It had been an expensive meal, but worth it in terms of amusement.
The next day, our friends could talk of little else than how Nick could consume food. I was asked how we could afford to feed him. I tried to explain that he was, in part, putting on a show to get them to react. But they continued to be amazed.
Afterwards
A few years after our family was visiting Rocport, we went back to the “scene of the crime.” We had Nick pose for a shot that we then emailed to our friends. It was of him scarfing down pizza and looking very full. Next time we met, I explained that the photo was a joke and had been staged. My friend did not believe me.
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not bad
Nick ought to enter some of those timed eating contests- he sounds like a contender!
He’s slowed down in recent years, but when younger he coulda been a contenda!
The Boys on Bikes I hung out with for a few years in San Diego were similar. After an afternoon of me on a long hike/run and they at the BMX jumps, we usually went to Woodstocks Pizzia (RIP). It was so much fun and I didn’t stop them from putting wadded up napkins under the lids of the salt, pepper, and Parmesan. It wasn’t free, though. I didn’t care.
Teenage boys can eat a lot.