You Gotta be kidding me!

My life in an Aternate Universe? You gotta be kidding me! Been there and done that.

Through most of the 1960s, I lived in the Twilight Zone: Folkie Palaces with wall-to-wall mattresses for arriving and departing Pius Itinerants on pilgrimages, political activism ( have demonstration will travel), and much more. That’s just the surface. I still can’t reveal all the bad Vodoo. Do you have the correct security clearances?

Songs I never sang

Any, this morning I was drinking coffee and eating my breakfast cereal; nothing out of the ordinary. But the radio announcer was going on about the latest absurdities from the house formerly known as the White House, but now known as the headquarters for the Trump Occupation Zone. The announcer was mumbling something to the effect that The Donald was interested in an immediate and new Census—one that would not count, I assume, anyone who wasn’t a Republican. About that time, my mind started to drift back to that alternate universe I once experienced.

There I was, once again in the living room of my friends Bob and Chris – staunch IRA sympathizers. They had just done rehearsing a set of IRA inspired ballads, diatribes and other songs. They finished off with a chant I’d often heard them do:

Up the long ladder and down the short rope

To Hell with King Billy, and God bless the Pope

If that doesn’t do it, we’ll tear him in two.

And send him to Hell with his red, white, and blue.

The original song was part of a Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem medley. But my friends used the one verse as a sort of chant to signal the end of a performance set. The way they did it was very effective. And if from the songs they selected, you didn’t get it, that they were IRA supporters, this final chant nailed it.

So there I am awash in memory, disgusted by current events, and worried for the future of Civilization ( Yup! Capital C.), when the following ditty pops into my mind:

Up the long ladder and down the short rope.

To Hell with King Donald, and God bless our hopes.

If that doesn’t do it, we’ll tear him in two.

And send him to Hell with Melania, too!

Audience Participation!

OK. Now, like all good folksingers, I have a participatory bit where you are expected to join in. I’ll know if you are sitting back there and being silent.

Hey you, over there! Don’t smirk, and pull on hair follicles from your nasal mustache!

Now, one, two, three, and four….

Up the long ladder and down the short rope.

To Hell with King Donald, and God bless our hopes.

If that doesn’t do it, we’ll tear him in two.

And send him to Hell with Melania, too!

Now one more time, with feeling, and make sure to stomp your feet in time. If you really want to get into this, go over to your window, open it, stick your head out, and let the neighbors know how you feel about it! You hear that gal from a block over, and that dude from down the street! You’ve got a political movement! Once Again!

Up the long ladder and down the short rope.

To Hell with King Donald, and God bless our hopes.

If that doesn’t do it, we’ll tear him in two.

And send him to Hell with Melania, too!

Very good. Now take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and relax. Gets the heart thumping, doesn’t it? Well, that’s it for now. I gotta check my schedule for tonight, and see if I’m on the schedule for any of the old coffeehouses I used to perform in. Comebacks are hard!