At the end of June I contracted some weird viral thing that first gave me laryngitis and then a follow-on series of idiotic symptoms. The symptoms formed a retinue; there were so many and varied: little and large irritations. I wasn’t deathly ill, thank god, but I wasn’t well for about three months.
At last count, there were three trips to my doctor, two to Urgent Care, two to the Emergency room, talks with the nurses, a visit to the ear, nose, and throat guy, and an allergist, and lots of tests. In the end they basiclly said, ” Well, we don’t know what it is, but you’ll eventually get better. We think…”
I have, no thanks to the doctor, evidently, recovered. And this week I’ve noticed the symptoms seriously receded, and my energy levels improved to the point that I was motivated enough to pick up the guitar for my first serious practice session since the end of June. I sound vile.
I had casually trimmed the nails on my left hand, walked out to the living room, grabbed Charlie from his spot on the wall, and started running progressions. As I stated, I was awful. I recalled that sixty-one years ago I was making money performing in coffeehouses. Ok, Ok, not much money, but it was money.
Before June, I had gotten back into the groove of nightly practice for the first time in years. I was getting “gig-worthy”. In a few more months, I could have packed Charlie up and gone looking for a gig. If I could find a coffeehouse that would hire me.
Thinking about performing, being so weirdly ill, and the medical profession’s ability to spend a lot of money on inconclusive tests, I got a bit pissed off. And then I remembered a song that Loudon Wainwright III had done, “The Doctor.” It all fell into place, and I began singing and playing it. Here are the lyrics:
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Son you look older than me and I’m 71
You’re falling apart and not living right
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Loud, you’ve got to stop hanging out
With that old in crowd
Living’s a battle, and you’re losing the fight
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Boy, your body is a temple, it’s not a toy
Fill up this here paper cup and give it to the nurse
Don’t spill it now
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Friend this should be the middle
But it could be the end
You better get better, or else you’re gonna get worse
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Sir we got back the X-ray everything’s a blur
It’s all positive that’s what every single test shows
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Kid it was something that you ate or drank
It’s something that you did
And it’s all in your head and
It’s spreadin’ on down to your toes
Let’s spread it around a little bit now
Oh, I went to the doctor, everybody does
Oh, I went to the doctor
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Please get on down to the drug store
And pick up some of these
After that get on home and get into your bed
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
Shucks that’s just about all, you owe me 300 bucks
And you can call me in the morning
That is if you’re not dead
So there you have it, except that if I didn’t have really excellent insurance, I’d owe lots more than three hundred dollars. Look up Loud’s singing of the song and stay away from the doctor…he must have had the same ones I did…
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The doctor said “We have good news and bad news”
“The bad news is, we don’t know what you have”
“The good news is, we are going to name it after you when we find out”
Fame! At long last!
Yeesh.
Lots of “thank goodness” in that post—that you seem to have recovered, you weren’t “deathly ill” and all. But. Yeesh.
Good news on the guitar: It comes back quickly with your level of past proficiency.
Yeesh.
The last couple of days, the energy levels have started to return to normal. Thank God, I’m behind on so many things!
“You’d better get better, or else you’re gonna get worse!” That sums up what my most common experience with doctors is. ha ha! What a great song, and I’m glad it made you feel a little better. I’m sorry to hear you were so sick Lou, and I remember how you were getting yourself into gig shape. If you’re in the mood to go after it again, I’m sure it will happen. It would be pretty fun to play for an audience again, and even make a buck or two. <3
I’ll start working it out again. The hands have weakened, though, and the barre chords are hard. It is going to take some real application!
I relate to that song so well! I’m glad you finally feel better, Lou. I had a shock last week after visiting my doc. I realized I knew more about what I’ve been dealing with than she does because I’ve researched it like crazy. She’s a family practice doc. She has no reason to plumb the depths of this situation I’ve been in. She has only to order the tests and recommend supplements. It has been up to me to contend with it day-to-day and to find the best solution.
You are absolutely correct! We had to live with it, get to know it intimately, suffer with it, and experiment with what made it feel better.